Fabulous in 52 Weeks: My version of "the Secret".

I am sure some of you are getting bored by my personal stories, but they are not just written to keep my fingers in shape typing, I am trying to make a subtle point in each. I hope you take away that little tidbit each time you read one. I have taken to reading all kinds of self help type articles, thinking someone must have the easy answer. From the ridiculous to the simple I have read a lot of them. How to be organized, how to eat right, the secret, how to lose 5 pounds in a week, how to find happiness in 5 easy steps..... my mind is numb from them all. By now I should have the skin of a 30 year old, body of a 20 year old, whitest teeth, the best behaved kids, the cleanest house on the block, the happiest husband, more money than I know what to do with and happier than a pig in shit. Not so!

One important thread I found in all of the articles is that you make your own happiness which, of course, leads to improvement in all aspects of your life. Each improvement you make is like a domino effect and in the end you should be content and happy with your life. Sounds simple, and I think maybe it is, sometimes it’s already right there and you just have to recognize it. You know that "Ah ha" moment we have all heard about. Not that I am not happy, just in a strange place in my life. AC- after children? My purpose???? Motherhood defines you forever, but mothering by email and texting is a different animal. I know they can read, so it eliminates going in one ear and out the other, tuning me out, so I think.

I find contentment in the things I already know make me happy and try to incorporate them into my day. Like a trip that fills my head with the memories of the things that I like, and trying to bring those memories to my life every day, if it is as simple as stringing lights over my head, it’s done. Or a song that reminds me of something that brought me great joy. I remember the Clash song, Rock to Casbah, I sang it to Jaime every time I changed his diaper. I know- weird, but that was just something silly I did. To this day, when the song comes on, I think back to when my all grown up first born was dependent on me for his simple everyday existence. Change me, feed me, love me. How things have changed….I am only responsible for " Love me” now. Wonder what he will sing to me when he changes my Depends? Maybe I will give him a free pass on the change me, feed me, but not the love me! I was way too busy the last 20 something years to wonder about the next 20 something….. Is that what a mid life crisis is? Home alone, what do I do now…. Redefine life? Chase a new happiness? Hmmmm - interesting!
I think I need a convertible! :)