The mystery of the universe. A profound week to say the least. My decision to recapture my storage unit life and recapturing someone else’s storage units life all in the same week. My decision was made before I stumbled into Sarahs life. This is deep! Sigh.
I have a new friend, I am calling her a friend because I know way too much about her, more than I know about many of my good friends. I know her fears, her joy's, her life. I shouldn't know all these things but I do. This is going to be long but bare with me, it's emotional, and hope in the end rewarding. Was it destiny that I would be the one to end up apart of her life, or just some strange coincidence? I can't even begin to figure it out. Nor have I come to the end of this journey yet. I have played out every scenario in my mind...how did this happen???? Maybe one day I will know the end of the story, maybe I will just be an elf that will drop it off, ring the doorbell and run, because I am not sure what the ending will be and don't know if I want to. I just know what I have to do.
Rewind to Tuesday. I got a call to do a job. Simple- clean out a rented garage that the renter left behind things they no longer wanted. They quit paying rent several years ago- came and removed what they wanted and left the rest. There it sat for several years, I am told, the roof began to leak, no one noticed?? No one cared??? Finally, the roof was repaired, but the "stuff" remained. Full of spiders, mold, dust, the makings of a place with the doors closed that things could remain forgotten.
Ok, I can do this job- no problem. A couple of hours of back breaking labor a few bucks- I'm in. I've done a half a dozen of these kind of jobs, just another day. Turning the key and pushing the garage door button to let the light in, I didn't know this was the beginning of a journey.
A quick scan of the surrounding....a couple of bikes, dressers, crib, boxes, books. A dumpster full at most. You know me, I must investigate every box, because you never know.... I might find something I can't live without. I'm a Junker at heart so boxes hold treasures no matter how small. Boy, was I in for a surprise. My mind wandered to the storage unit that holds my belongings. Would they ever get to this point? Would they be forgotten and left to be disposed of?? Would someone open the lid of each bin and go through my things? A stranger deciding what they would like to take home and what should be dumped???? The thought horrified me as I began to see who this garage full of stuff belonged to. I must tell you, my things are not anything like what I am going to find, but they are my treasures none the less. So yes, Monday, when I venture to where my belongs live, I am going to reclaim them like a lost friend and bring them home where they belong. Maybe I will have peace in my heart my chapter will be over and I can put it to rest. I think I can and this journey is going to help me as much as my journey will help strangers I don't even know.
Pardon me, I have to go get a Kleenex.......
Where do I start? Those 2 big red storage boxes. Off comes the top of the first one. The wedding box. The first thought that ran through my mind as I began to lift each object out and look them over was, must be a divorce, no one wanted these unhappy memories to be reminded of a marriage gone bad. The wedding planner book, packed full of papers, notes, plans.... the pictures, the cards, the DRESS! I pulled the dress out-looks like it's in good shape. Take home pile...who knows what I could do with this? Something I'm sure. Everything else.... lid back on-dumpster. Sarah was married in 1992. I knew the names of her bridesmaids, I saw the invitation, I saw the joy. What went wrong???
Big red box #2. Off comes the lid. This box will change everything. Even my life.
Opened a small box, inside a guest book from a funeral. I slowly opened the pages flipping through it quickly. Lots of names, any I know, yes a few. I went back to the opening pages. The pallbearers listed, back a page, the deceased. Sarah! I quickly looked at the date of birth and date of death. Oh my she was only 33....what happened????? December 2000 she died. My heart sank. I had to know what happened. I went back to the wedding box. It had a whole new meaning to me. This was no divorce, this was death til we part. This box was now in the take home pile. The wedding dress was carefully put back into the box, I would never be wondering what to do with it anymore, it was no longer mine to dispose of.
The funeral box was full of things that led me on a journey through Sarahs short life, but a happy life up until she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1998. This I know, because I read the beginning pages of her journal. The day the doctor gave her the news. I felt like I was invading her privacy, but yet, I felt I had to find out her story. As I painfully looked the things I found out- she had 3 young children. Letters to her daughter, homemade mother’s day cards from her young son. Many greeting cards from well wishers trying to cheer her up during her 2 year battle. Pictures of Sarah with hat covering her head to cover up the fact that she didn't have any hair. A picture of her and her husband and on the back handwritten to each of her children dated Jan 2000- love mom and dad. My emotions were being sucked out of me. As I dug deeper, high school diplomas, college sorority, drivers license, treasures, memories of the births of her children. Original birth certificates, christening clothing, ultrasound pictures, rosary all destined for the dumpster. Deep breath......
I began to go through each item. I found a note to her husband...
"please do not throw out save for the kids.... I love you, my one and only forever. xoxox Sarah."
How could he???? I might never know the answer to that question. I don't think I want to know.
I repacked each item. Don't worry Sarah, I won't throw them out. I am saving them for your children. I have the most important events in Sarahs life in a 4 foot long box.
I had to leave, I was filled with so many emotions and my mind was filled with so many questions. I locked the door behind me and went home. I will be back. I took home the small water logged box that had written on the top.
Save for Sarahs children. I know her children. A girl and 2 boys. I know their names, I know the day's they were born, the hospital. I have held in my hands the wrist bands that encircled their tiny arms. I've seen their birth certificates, I know who brought them gifts, I held up their Christening outfits, .... I know too much. They are now 15, 14 and 13. My heart breaks.
I am home, a few more boxes to go through. Stuff, this is just stuff. Some pots and pans, paper towel holder, small George Foreman grill, candle holder or two, mismatched coffee cups... Stuff. Nothing sentimental here. Now the box for Sarahs Children. Wrapped in Newspaper... I have to know the date. October 2003. 7 years ago almost to the date. Why were they packing up Sarahs stuff to put in storage? Did the family move, did the husband remarry???? My brain is full of questions. As I unwrapped each item I found formal china. It must have been a wedding gift. Each place setting accounted for, but dirty and moldy. I washed them all and laid them on my dining room table. I wonder if she ever got to use them? They meant enough that they were tagged to go to her children. I will carefully, repack them in a new box. They are going home where they belong.
2 days later I went back to finish the job. Many things were damaged by the dampness and in the dumpster they went. I swept out the floor and the job was done. Only thing left was the big red box all by itself in a big empty garage. I loaded it in the car. I will take it home and get on the internet. I have a name, that's all I need. Sarah, I won't disappoint you....what I have left of your life will get to the greatest loves of your life, your 3 little ones. Now that they are growing up they can look into your heart and see how much you loved them! The universe, a strange place. Sarah you came into my life at a time where I needed you as much as you needed me.
Rest in Peace my new friend.
I'm making progress on the mental health front! :) Facing my demons head on! Last year I avoided Halloween by conveniently being out of town... not here don't have to deal with my favorite holiday. That was by design.
Well have no fear.....Halloween 2010 is near! I have 2 things pushing me to get my rear end over to "the storage unit" where whatever is left of my prize possessions reside. Les turns 50 on Devils night and 21 months are long enough and I think I can do it. Heck, I did the zip line, I can do anything. No Fear... lol So next week it is. Wish me luck...... I'm gonna need it :)
I have to tell you, as much as I know what comes after fall, there is nothing like a fabulous fall weekend to reawaken your senses. What a lovely weekend to be outside soaking up some natural vitamin D. Just closing your eyes and putting your face up to the Sun you could feel the warmth of a good old fashioned hug. Ahhhh, what a blissful feeling. I confess, I have a warm spot in my heart for a good fall day. Shhhh, don't tell anyone :)
Trying to enrich my life, I want to do more exploring and experience some new things. I am finding things sooo close to home that it is a crime I haven’t sought them out before now. I bought a bike rack at a garage sale about a month ago, I had great plans to get some exercise in and venture away from the GI bike path. Road trip! We finally got the bikes secured on the new rack, and we were off. I found on the internet that you could ride various paths throughout the Wayne County park systems. Willow, Oakwoods and Lower Huron all interconnected for 30 miles of bike paths. I thought we should start with the 4.5 at Willow.
We packed a little wine, cheese and crackers in my new picnic back pack and we were on our way to a really enjoyable day. I think all in all we managed about 10 miles. We sat in the shade next to the pond and enjoyed our snack before we headed back home. I looked around at this park and wondered why we don’t have a yearly pass and work a visit in at least once a month to enjoy it. They have disc golf, another one of those things we had good intentions of trying out. Santa brought Les his discs for Christmas more than 10 years ago and they still sit unopened in this closet. If we can get a round in this fall we are really going to try to accomplish that.
Saturday, all play- no work :) Success
Sunday we went to Hell. Another beautiful day, we must enjoy it. A group of us suited up on the motorcycles for a trip to Hell. Traveling the back roads we came upon a cider mill, where we stopped for some awesome cinnamon donuts and cider. We sat a spell and then hit the road again. We almost made it to Hell and they had the road blocked and wouldn’t let us in. "No you can’t go to Hell, it’s on fire!" A brush fire blocked the entrance to Hell, I guess we should have expected Hell was burning. Makes sense. So much disappointment… but all is not lost, there are several ways to get to Hell and we found another. The back door was a pleasant ride, we saw so much more. Beautiful trees, winding roads, nature at its best. The best way to get to Hell isn’t always the prettiest. Makes sense!
I have so many things I want to do before Fall leaves us… ha ha no pun intended, but I’m not sure the weather will hold out. All we can do is hope! :)
Hello! Been absent in more ways than one. lol. Took a trip to Gatlinburg last weekend. The weather was summerlike and we had a great time. I was forced kicking and screaming to be a daredevil. I am not a extreme thrill seeker so this was way, way, way outside my comfort zone. I never understood the rush people experienced from being terrified. Not in my genes. Cedar Point- that's me sitting on the bench keeping watch over everyone’s stuff while they ride the Mean Streak. Happy to do it!
So when it was suggested that we ride a zip line, my response was, happy to sit it out and watch everyone’s stuff.
As we took the drive way out to Foxfire mountain, I wasn't planning on taking part. When we arrived at the cute little base camp we were greeted by a handful of people who had just completed their journey through the mountain. An mature couple emerged from the final landing and I casually made conversation with them to see how much "fun" they had. A 65 year old woman proudly told me her age and that she was just like me....not a thrill seeker and a fraidy cat. She wasn't going either. Her family talked her into it and she declared that it was difficult for her in the beginning but that she was so glad she went and it was a great experience in the end. Hmmmm, 65 year old and my 75 year old dad who was going for the 2nd time....maybe I could survive and I might enjoy it. I was doubtful, but the pressure I was receiving from my family pushed me to suit up in the harness, put on my helmet and don the leather gloves that were riddled with holes and were to be my breaking system. I began to sweat! Profusely!
Ok, the first of 6 lines, were pretty tame in the scope of things. It took everything I had and about 5 minutes to get the courage to jump off the first one. The terror began..... my instincts were to close my eyes and scream. Which I did! That was the theme for all 6 of them. Scream I did, I couldn't help it, it just came out no matter how hard I tried not to. My voice echoed throughout Foxfire mountain, they let me know they could hear me at base camp! Not sure that was good for business! Anyway, I can't really tell you how it was, because I don't remember much of it. I screamed every time I jumped and I screamed as I watched the other people in my group jump. My eyes were closed most of the time so I only felt the freefall sensation, I didn't see too much of it. Our guide declared I was the most vocal of all the people he has encountered. Surprise you...probably not. As I walked off the last platform and finally touched the ground I became a Warrior!!! I did it! Would I go back?.....NEVER, but I will wait for you at base camp and watch over your stuff!
I got nothin'!....
but a list as long as my arm and nothing acomplished. What is wrong with me???? Something has to give. I think this is called stress. No wonder people don't like it and complain about it. It should be a 4 letter word. Overwhelmed at the moment, nothing special just this and that. Is this why people drink? I will figure it out, but in the meantime, my brain is mush, my house is a mess, I am not "fabulous"