Chapter two, the journey continues

 
 

I have experienced an agonizing few weeks.... In amongst trying to live my life I have tried to piece together many scenarios’ as I search to do the right thing for someone else’s life. I am not sure I am qualified to make that decision. I feel tremendous guilt for prying into such a sensitive part of people I don't even knows lives. I have done a little detective work, 5 minutes on the internet and I found them. I have viewed the children’s Facebook pages, I know when they moved from one city to another, I know the husband has remarried and added to his family. I know their address, I know where the kids go to school, what sports they play, who they hang around with. This really tells you how much is out there in cyberspace, just about everything. I am thankful, because it has made it much easier for me to continue my journey.

Ok, so now what? The torment that follows me is, who do I give the big red box to? I have found out that this was an extremely difficult time, what this family went through.  I didn't doubt that.  Do I stir up those memories and send them back to that dark time in their lives? Did the husband intentionally leave these memories behind because he could not handle the pain? From what I know, it doesn't appear that he casually disposed of these precious items. I don't pretend to understand, nor am I due an explanation. This is truly none of my business. That is how I view it, yet I feel I have been unwillingly given the "job" to see that Sarah's life is returned. You would think it would be an easy decision, but it’s not. It has become a priority to me, an obsession, and I need to do my best for the entire family. I have to be sensitive to every single one of them. That will be the ultimate closure for me -that I took into consideration everyone’s feelings. Or, what I imagine their feeling are.
I know where Sarah's mother and father live. This is important because, after many sleepless nights, I have decided that her mother will be the one to receive these special items. They are her grandchildren and I feel she is qualified to be the keeper and the decision maker on when and if they should receive them. I will feel at peace that the big red box will be in the right hands.
Now, I agonize on how to approach them. First I will go through the box and re wrap it all. I believe, everything should be specially placed in the box, and be the treasure chest of memories it was meant to be. Give it some dignity. It has become a dumping ground for what I decided was most important. I still am bothered by the fact that I had to decide. As a mother, and someone who puts sentimental value on just about everything, I did my best and at this point and I cannot keep second guessing myself.
My goal is to have everything ready by Thanksgiving. This is the time of the year that families count their blessings .... just like everything else in this story makes us count ours.