Mommy dearest.....

With the passing of another Mother's Day, I start thinking of what kind of Mother I have been. I planned on being a perfect one, but in reality, no one is perfect and I far from it. Except my Mom of course! We appreciate them much more after we have experienced what they have.  Full circle.
I have done some stages of motherhood better than others, I am the first to admit that. I remember the early years as an exhausting joy. Loved babies and toddlers. I changed (cloth) diapers for 9 years straight, breast fed enough to do permanent damage! ( lol) applied enough band aids that I should have bought stock in Johnson and Johnson.
The teenage years were not so bad. I didn't get too much rebellion there. I think I always tried to get a handle on how I was treated at that time in their lives. If I remember it correctly, (Sue will remind me if my memory is wrong!) I didn't allow too much disrespect, I think they all pretty much knew I was the parent and when they thought they were going to try to push me a little farther than I was comfortable with, I reminded them I was the parent and they were the child. I didn't have to put up with too much crazy teenage girl stuff, the boy stuff was challenging at a few points (2 to be exact) but in light of who's son Jaime is, I think I got off incredibly easy! lol
 Les and I were on the same page as far as discipline, he let me do it...bad Mommy, good Daddy! As one of my daughters stated to the judge, "my mother is the disciplinarian", as I sat in the courtroom listening to my daughters sentence for a MIP. Mom was not a happy camper. I might never have found out about that if the judge did not require her to have a parent present. She approached Dad first.... Dad said gotta tell your Mom... yikes!  All ended with an important lesson learned.
Adult children.... I don't do that well. I am failing miserably. As a friend recently told me...They are fully baked...no longer your problem. I am not buying that one. Motherhood never ends it just evolves and I have to quit mothering them like they are children, but I just cannot help it. Might be the control freak in me, or just worrying about if they can survive without my words of wisdom?  Les says all I do is bitch at them.... I think he is right. I guess I have to let the birdies fly, but I am having great difficultly... I think they might fly into a window and hurt themselves, or that big fat cat is waiting to pounce on them,  so I am constantly telling them to watch out for that picture window and that cat is right around the corner! I have to learn to step back and quit reminding them of the things they need to do and how to do it. Hard stuff. This stage of motherhood is my most difficult, I don't know if I will ever get it right.
Maybe we beat ourselves up too much, but when it comes to our children all you want is the best for them, and all we can do is hope they understand that.....  They will- when they have their own :) Full circle.  We have all had some challenges to contend with, just a part of being a parent. We all started out in the early years thinking our children would be perfect and we would be the perfect parent. Are you laughing yet???? You then know the ending to that story, excuse me, fairy tale. It's a journey! Twists and turns, ups and down, laughing and crying.  It's still a joy no matter how you look at it, rose colored glasses or a magnifying glass.... it may be a crazy life, but it's our life, and I will always be their mother whether they like it or not!