Fear set in. Sunday my thoughts were filled with Sarah. I am just not ready. I am so anxious and nervous. I am afraid to meet her parents. I don't know what to say, I don't even know how to begin to tell them how or why I need to see them. It consumed my day. I tried to keep busy so that I wouldn't have time to make the phone call. I have the phone number. I just don't think I can do it yet, and as many times as I run through the dialogue nothing seems right. I fear the questions.... where, why, how did this happen? I fear the emotion, I'm not sure if it's Sarah's parents emotions or my emotions. Maybe an artfully penned letter - ring the doorbell and run- is the option I will choose. I know, I am a coward. I just want them to have the big red box, but I want it to be a good thing, not something that is too painful. I don't think I can get away with not letting them know how I came to be the keeper of these memories. I feel I have to explain some of it, because it will leave too many mysteries for them to solve.
I need help with this one...... it's not clear to me. Maybe I'm just over thinking . Like jumping off the zip line, I have to take a deep breath, and just do it! I imagine the ride will be just as terrifying. Hopefully in the end, I will come out just as I did when my feet hit the ground, OK!, and an experience not to be forgotten.
Monday, November 22, 2010
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